Unbalanced Triad
by Ruingaraf
Summary: Sasuke sees Naruto and Sakura together, and wonders where he fits in. If the old Team Seven is lost forever, and he's just left to rot, all alone. NaruSaku from Sasuke's perspective, and why it would destroy both him and the Team Seven dynamic. Angst.


"Unbalanced Triad"

Fandom: Naruto, part II

Rating: T (General psychology)

Summary: Sasuke sees Naruto and Sakura together, and wonders where he fits in. If the old Team Seven is lost forever. NaruSaku from Sasuke's perspective, and why it would destroy both him and the Team Seven dynamic.

Notes: Normally I hate to use Japanese in fics, but my Sasuke muse uses 'nii-san' almost as a name. In order to psyche himself to kill his brother, and to prevent further mental scarring, his mind divided Itachi into two people-- 'nii-san', the brother he'd grown up with, idolized, and loved; and 'Itachi' the man who murdered his family. Itachi's poking him in the forehead forced him to deal with the fact that he hadn't just killed 'Itachi', he had killed 'nii-san' as well.

* * *

She was with Naruto now. Apparently, when they'd reunited, she'd gotten too close and seen something she hadn't liked. _(what did he have to like anyway, there was nothing, **nothing**, he was pathetic and weak and had even killed **nii-san** with his own bloodied hands) _She'd gotten away from his personal abyss of death and hate while she still could.

Smart girl.

He had nothing to come back to. Sure, he'd let them take him back, but it was because he was so goddamn tired-- tired of revenge, tired of fighting, tired of living, and he thought just maybe, that the fragile remains of his friedships could keep him from hitting the ground.

It didn't work that way.

Sure, they still cared for him. Once in a great while, there were moments where it would be like the old days. But anymore, Sasuke was too exhausted-- mentally, physically, emotionally, to even consider bickering with Naruto. The newly-inaugurated Hokage, by comparison, was far too smitten with his new girlfriend to care about a petty rivalry. Besides, hadn't he already won? Sakura generally had her hands full with keeping Naruto from being stupid, but one in a while, she would glance at Sasuke. Apologetically. Like she felt _sorry_ for him. And he hated it.

Naruto had never gotten his wish for their team to smile together again, because Sasuke never smiled.

There was no reason for him to be here. His family's remains had been blown sky-high from the battle with Pein, and no one had cared enough to even try to piece the shattered headstones together. Or perhaps they'd known better, known that it was ridiculous. He'd cut his hands raw for days, weeks, trying to restore even a bit of the family's fallen honor and dignity. For years, his life had revolved around an imposible goal, and he'd found that no matter how shattered he was, he could get up and move again if he had a purpose.

He'd broken down when he'd finally found it was impossible. The stubborn Uchiha Sasuke had finally _given up_.

When he was with the two of them (_and it had become **the two of them** and **him**, not just **the three** like it once was)_ it was unbearable. All their attention was focused on each other, as if he wasn't there. Naruto would be hugging her and smothering her with kisses, and she'd be laughing and shoving him off all the while. At times, it was like being the third wheel on a date. Every time Team Seven worked together, Sasuke was reminded that Naruto was a _hero_ and that he wasn't. _Heroes_ deserved love, not broken little boys that had nightmares of blood.

Later that week, he proposed the breakup of the team.

Really, it had been easy. All he'd had to say was that they could still be friends, but as ninja, they worked better separately. They'd grown to be too dependent on one another _(lies, they wouldn't notice if he was** dying**)_ and had to move on. Really, it was rare for adult ninja to stay in permanent teams.

He'd started taking dangerous missions after that.

Adrenaline was a reward in itself for the AA, even S-rank enemies. For a few minutes at a time, he felt there was confirmation in his existence, even if it was only when blood ran from his sword and he was afraid for his life. Because despite how much he hated living, Sasuke was afraid to die. Things like this connected him to his brother, his idol he'd killed with his own hands. He brought the tattered red and black cloak with him on missions, wrapped around him and clung to it in the manner of a child's beloved blanket.

He would never admit it, but in truth, he took these missions to be injured.

He wasn't masochistic or self-mutilating, or anything like that. If he was injured badly enough, Sakura would be forced to heal him, forced to pay attention to him and his hollow existence. Feeling her soft hands and the gentle flow of her chakara, he could almost pretend that someone cared aside from corpses in the ground. But then it would be over, and he'd gruffly thank her, perhaps sharper than needed because she'd started talking about Naruto.

All it proved was that no one could ever love him, anyway. Really, he should have known that all along.


End file.
